Honesty – You May Be Lying To Yourself (I Do) And Not Know It

Honesty, defined as “a person or action who/that is “fair and straightforward and free of deceit or morally just”. It is an attribute revered by nearly all countries, cultures, and religions. It is constantly discussed throughout life, from all figures: parents, teachers, coaches. All urging you to be honest. To tell the truth no matter what.

As a child it’s easy. Did you eat that? Yes. Did you brush your teeth? No. Are you listening to me? Maybe… Adrian! Yes.  

But, as we get older, we start to doubt or avoid the truth. We begin to manipulate it in different ways, searching for the line, perhaps crossing it just a little to skew the deck in our favour. Lying about brushing our teeth may afford us an extra 5 minutes of play time before bed and that’s valuable currency at age 6 when you have not yet made the connection between poor oral hygiene and cavities. 

The older we get the more liberal we are with the truth. We may outright lie to avoid punishment or fail to tell the whole story to ensure we are painted in the proper light. Or, it might be well intentioned, perhaps we omit the truth to spare the feelings of someone we care about. These instances of dishonesty are undoubtedly wrong even the well-intentioned situation. We can identify the immorality in these instances, even if we don’t feel remorse for the action.

In many ways outward dishonesty is easier to identify but it is not the only kind we must be ready for. There is a second category of honesty which is much more painful, yet easier to hide and therefore easier to avoid facing. I’m referring to honesty of self and it is far more important than the omissions you may make outward. Not because lying to ourselves is worse than lying to others but if we are truthful with ourselves the decision to be honest with others is already made. 

I have been mulling over this topic for a while, both as it relates to my personal life and how others can use it. And I hope to explain or at least unpack it in a way that makes it more accessible. The lies that we tell ourselves are the most dangerous of all because we often do not realize how far away we’ve gotten from truth

The Truth of a Lizard 

There is a theory of brain evolution that was developed in the ’60s by neuroscientist Paul Maclean called The Triune Brain. The basic idea is that our brain has a hierarchal progression beginning with the most basic level – Survival and progressing to Higher Level Thinking. – The demand for abstract art and philosophical debates is pretty low if we aren’t first breathing and aware of threats to our survival, and it’s these first two levels of the brain that have allowed us to develop and achieve a position in the dominance hierarchy that gives us the opportunity to use our Neocortex – higher thinking. Unfortunately, what our Neocortex tells us we want and what our survival instincts want are often seperate things.

Let me explain. 

Seth Godin and Stephen Pressfield – both better writers and more experienced thinkers than myself- have discussed this topic at length. What Mr. Godin calls the lizard brain, Pressfield has termed the Resistance. They are essentially describing the same thing, it’s the natural self-preservation instinct that prevents us from executing on our goals and task. We are eternally terrified of being judged or looking stupid, of failing or disappointing others. We think ourselves into a petrified state and the only movement we can make is backward into safety. Then, once safe we berate ourselves for our cowardice, force ourselves back to cusp of action only to repeat the cycle. It’s a terrible feeling and we have all done it, in fact, I just stopped typing to send a text message I had been avoiding to avoid being a complete hypocrite and lying to you with this article. The problem with the lizard brain is that it never goes away, you don’t stop feeling the doubt or fear. The higher the stakes or further the progress you’ve made the stronger the resistance.

Why is this important for honesty? 

Because the lies we tell ourselves are designed to protect this lizard brain, we are fighting our natural instinct! Preservation of ego is king and it is easier to weave a web of falsehoods than shoulder the burden of reality. If you’re good at it, which many of us are, we can convince others that the lie is the truth and once they accept it we no longer believe it to be a lie. We have to actively work at Honesty.

Personal Example Time

I competed in a grappling tournament a few weekends ago, grappling anxiety/lizard brain resistance rates somewhere in the 4-5/10 range. It’s a part of fighting but I’m not paid to compete in it nor am I attempting to become one of the top grapplers in the country or world.

But.

I am one of the professional fighters at the gym and 30 odd students are there to compete and watch, so perhaps a 6/10 on the lizard brain scale. Still quite manageable, but then I noticed another pro fighter in my division who I know and is also ranked in the top 10. We could potentially fight each other in the future. My internal lizard brain scale is bumping up to a 7/10 and my mind is creating comparisons between this match and an actual fight. This match and our professional future, because the lizard brain believes only in scarcity we can’t both be successful! 

We compete. I grapple tentatively, playing not to lose which is almost always a losing strategy. He wins by 2 points – 1 Takedown. An exchange that would -likely- be fairly insignificant in a real fight and that’s the way I wanted it. As I exit the mat I am already creating a subplot for why lost. I already had a match and his first round was a bye. I had a poor game plan. It was a hard week of training. The list goes on. I’ll probably make a few jokes about it being a jiu-jitsu tournament so it doesn’t really matter. I’ll do my best to convince everyone else that it’s no big deal, some will believe me.

I’ll discuss it a few more times during the week at the gym, but now with the ‘new perspective’ –read lie – in place and by the time the next Saturday rolls around I might actually believe that the loss meant nothing, that it was because of the match I had prior, and that I was tired from the week of training. My ego will remain intact but I will have made no adjustments, learned no lessons. I’ll have retreated back under my rock away from change and growth but safe. 

You see the problem with lying to ourselves – and others – is that it is far too easy if we let ourselves. It will quickly become a habit and we’ll start shaping our perceptions to accommodate the lowest, most cowardly form of us. Cowardice is the refusal to face truth regardless of how uncomfortable it may be. As bad as this strategy may sound, it would work, if we truly believed our lies.

Eventually the truth comes through.

My father is a painter, and I remember him telling me about painting different houses with different owners and habits. One of the habits he was referring too was smoking. If you smoke inside a home the nicotine, will, over time seep into the paint and walls. It won’t happen with one cigarette or two but after a time the walls will develop a stained yellowish tinge that no one likes to see. When that happens the owner, or new owner, will call someone like my Dad to come in and paint. Unfortunately, at this point the walls are deeply saturated and require special treatment, they need to be washed and treated with a heavy primer before any paint can be rolled on. It’s a time consuming and expensive process. If the painter or homeowner decide to skip it and insist that slapping on an extra coat will do the trick they can get the job done much faster and cheaper. The walls will even look clean again, for a time. Eventually, the nicotine stuck underneath starts to seep back through – unhindered by a primer – and because the world is a cruel place that moment will occur at the exact same time the homeowner is giving a prospective buyer a tour of the house. They will look up at the walls, see the stains and know that someone cut corners to avoid the hard work. 

Lying is that stain. It works for a time and you may convince yourself or a few people that it’s clean but not forever. Stress acts as a stripping agent, when everything is running smoothly it’s simple to avoid honesty. The internal plot lines are clear and you can easily adjust the story as needed but when the stakes are high, when something of worth is on the line: career, relationship, a fight. That’s when it falls apart. When you step in the cage and the door shuts behind you there is only one way out and it’s through the person in front of you. That’s the moment when the lies fall apart, that’s the moment when you are forced to be honest with yourself, perhaps for the first time in a long time and that’s when you will crack. The discomfort and pain that comes with growth will avalanche back in the form of panic and doubt and you will be exposed because deep down we know, we know that we weren’t honest with ourselves.

The idea of being honest with ourselves seems easy, we believe we always do it, or if not, could start anytime we want.

We don’t and it’s not. Honesty is the mental equivalent of heavy manual labour repeated day after day. It’s uncomfortable and you are going to be terrible at it for a very long time, your – emotional – muscles will tear and ache, but in the end, it will all be worth it. You will know who you are and be comfortable with that knowledge. You will have deeper connections with the people in your life, and those that can’t handle the truth will disappear, leaving you only those who care. You will be the best version of you possible, you won’t be perfect but you’ll be real and that knowledge is liberating. It allows you to hurtle yourself completely at any task you choose, not concerned with the outcome because your lizard brain no longer controls you.

BB #53 – Bone Broth | The Thousand Year Old Super Drink

Winter. A time of year that makes you want to stay inside and curl up with a blanket while you fight off a never-ending cold. Fortunately, this week’s #biosteelbreakdown has the answer…Bone Broth! Used for thousands of years, bone broth has made a resurgence in popularity and for good reason. A recovery drink packed with immune boosting nutrients, you can’t go wrong with a big cup of broth.

Sylvie shared her recipe here!

If you have a question of your own tweet at @champ_lifetstyle or @biosteelsports and we will do our best to answer them in a future episode.

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 A Quick Thank  You…

Today’s podcast is brought to you by a company that takes up significant shelf space in our kitchen and one we have been using for years. Biosteel Sports Nutrition is a Toronto based company, and a leader in high-performance sports drinks for professional athletes and everyday champions alike.

A product created out of necessity and is trusted by athletes like Connor McDavid, Brooke Henderson, Rosie MacLennan, and Andrew Wiggins. They have a full line of products, including their signature High-Performance Sports Drink and Advanced Recovery Formula Protein plus a brand new rooster of Biosteel Green Powder.

Living like a champion requires championship nutrition and there’s no one we trust more.

Enter Promo Code – ChampLifestyle for 15% off your next purchase at Biosteel

#89 – Alena Luciani — Setting Goals, Lifting Weights, and Honouring Dad

We couldn’t have picked a better guest to help create some 2019 momentum. A pioneer in strength and conditioning, a goal setting expert, and the founder of Training2XL, Alena Luciani knows a thing or two about chasing down dreams. We discuss her love for training, why she never worried about pre-conceived notions of ‘barriers’, creating the first strength and conditioning program at Laurier University and so much more. Alena showed unbelievable strength and vulnerability talking about her Father who passed last year and how she is living in a way that honors his memory. We really enjoyed this episode and can’t wait for you to listen and learn. 

 
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Vince Luciani (Brother) 


Follow Alena

Website – www.training2XL.com

Instagram – @training2XL

FB – @training2xl


This Podcast is Brought To You By

Our Mothers

Thanks to Karen and Anne for bringing us into this world and keeping us alive long enough to screw it up ourselves.

Biosteel Sports Nutrition

Biosteel Sports Nutrition is Toronto based company, and a leader in high-performance sports drinks for professional athletes and everyday champions alike.

A product created out of necessity and is trusted by athletes like Connor McDavid, Brooke Henderson, Rosie MacLennan, and Andrew Wiggins. They have a full line of products, including their signature High-Performance Sports Drink and Advanced Recovery Formula Protein plus a brand new rooster of Biosteel Green Powder.

Living like a champion requires championship nutrition and there’s no one we trust more.

Enter Promo Code – ChampLifestyle at www.biosteel.com for 15% Off the Next Order

truLOCAL

We care about food…a lot, and after having truLOCAL on the podcast we were stoked to throw a couple of their Ontario raised steaks on the BBQ. We loved them and couldn’t wait to try the rest of their amazing products and wanted to give you a chance to try them too.

To celebrate our new partnership head over to truLOCAL.ca and use the code word CHAMPIONSHIP10 for $25 dollars off a regular box! We don’t think you’ll be disappointed.


Show Notes

  • Coming Soon

Champ Community

Hear what other Champions have been saying about the Podcast
  • I’m a fan of information and value. There are only a few podcasts I rock with that are worth the time, JRE with Joe Rogan, Championship Lifestyle, Think Space with Joss Biggins, Gary Vee Audio with Gary Vee etc. We should be auditing everything, audit the BS out of your podcasts and your ear. I’m rocking with this podcast pretty much every day”
  • Paulwall2837 said “Genuinely get excited to listen! Great topics and great flow, Adrian and Sylvia definitely know how to keep you interested!”
  • The Stretch Therapist said “what a great time – informal, raw and just an all around good time.”
     

Just Breathe – Why Taking a Breath is Still Underrated

It’s funny to think that a biological process that is necessary for survival is underrated, especially one that occurs automatically with no mental energy required. We inhale and exhale 12 – 16 times a minute, for as long as we live and rarely give it a second thought. 

And that is the problem. 

Breathing is rarely discussed in fitness or sport and our idea’s surrounding it are often ill-informed. If you had the opportunity to experience or practice breathing growing up thank your parents for their progressive approach, it was likely born out of yoga or meditative practice, both of which have only recently entered the mainstream. I have always been cautiously skeptical of most aspects of spirituality or alternative thinking, the byproduct of living in a traditional home in a small Northern community with a mother in healthcare. I wanted science and hard facts told by someone in at least a Halloween costume lab coat – that’s a Bill Burr joke – and that sector was not distributing any information. It meant I was breathless for a long time.

At the beginning of the article, I mentioned breathing as an action our nervous system performs subconsciously, which is true. But, we also now know that we possess the ability to manipulate our nervous system through breathing, more specifically the vagus nerve which plays a major role in our nervous system regulation. We can influence our present state by altering the frequency and type of breaths we take. This, in turn, impacts our cortisol (stress hormone) release. We can decrease Cortisol by (1) reducing the number of breaths per minute and inhaling deeply into our diaphragm. Or increase it by taking more rapid, shallow breathes. These changes in hormone release have a direct influence on our emotions, attitude, decision making, and productivity.

So, how do you breathe?

For most of us, rapid and shallow breathing is our default. Years of bad posture, minimal movement, and high-stress levels have turned us into a walking state of panic, think movie chase scene where the main character stops in an alleyway, almost hyperventilating. This type of breathing contribute to excessive stress hormone release, fatigues us faster and increases the likelihood of illness. It also wreaks havoc on our mood and emotions, making us miserable to be around.

For the record this has never happened when I have attempted to impersonate a peacock.

My friends have a funny term that they will use when I get upset, it’s the peacock. The reason is probably obvious, I do my very best impersonation of the bird, puffing out my chest, pulling back my shoulders, flaring my arms slightly and becoming as big as possible to respond to whatever has upset or frightened me. This is actually a very primal threat response so I imagine they also do it, or, maybe I’m just lower on the evolutionary scale than the average human. Then, the moment passes and we all have a laugh at my expense. The overwhelming majority of the time it turns out to be a situation that was nowhere near qualified that response. I am always envious of individuals that remain level-headed throughout all situations never letting their emotion get the better of them and refusing to rise to the bait.

Monitoring emotional responses to life and work problems is unbelievably beneficial, arguably vital. Negotiation, problem-solving, and people management are all skills that work best when you remain level-headed and clear thinking. In a previous article, I mentioned a few employers I had worked for in the past and how their response to problems trickled down and impacted the rest of the company – unfortunately not for the better. Calm is contagious and breathwork is a crucial part of maintaining that calm. The number of studies examining breath and the effects on the nervous system have risen dramatically over the past few years. ‘Breathwork therapy’ is being used to help with depression, anxiety, emotional and pain management amongst other things.

In addition to helping with emotional management, breathing can have a major upside for performance in both the business and athletic arenas. Several top entrepreneurs credit meditation and breathwork as one of their keys to success, Tim Ferriss, Scott Amyx, Laird Hamilton are all strong advocates of intentional deep breathing. Onnit founder, Aubrey Marcus, believes so strongly that he dedicated an entire chapter in his latest book to educating and implementing breathing as a method for dealing with overwhelming situations. It’s easy to do, immediately implementable and has tangible benefits.


A How To Guide

  • A quick and easy drill to help understand the difference in styles of breath involves your two hands and the floor.
  • Lie on your back, place one hand on your sternum, and the other on your belly button.
  • Inhale normally and notice what hand rises, it will likely be the one on your chest.
  • Now inhale through your nose and focus on the pulling the breath down into your belly.
  • The bottom hand should start to rise as well. Continue breathing slowly (5-7 seconds/ breath) until the top hand is still and only the bottom rises.

Ma, Xiao et al. “The Effect of Diaphragmatic Breathing on Attention, Negative Affect and Stress in Healthy Adults” Frontiers in psychology vol. 8 874. 6 Jun. 2017, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00874

#88 – Julia Hamer — Brain Health, Concussion Research, and the Neuroscience of Social Media

Welcome back Champs! We hope you had an amazing end to your 2018 and are excited and motivated heading into this New Year. We couldn’t have a better guest to kick off the podcast than Julia Hamer. 

Julia is a former pro athlete, yoga teacher, neuroscientist, and now med student on her way to Australia to become a doctor. It was a fantastic conversation, we dove in deep on the brain. Took a more critical look at some of the commonly believed concussion research and spent some time discussing the impact social media can have at a neurological level. 


 
Subscribe by Email

(Loved Us? Hated Us? Rate and leave a review here)


Liked the Episode? Try Something Similiar.

Callum Cowan


Follow Julia

Website – www.juliahamer.com

Instagram – @juliahamer

Twitter – @juhamer

FB – @juliahamerCAN


This Podcast is Brought To You By

Our Mothers

Thanks to Karen and Anne for bringing us into this world and keeping us alive long enough to screw it up ourselves.

Biosteel Sports Nutrition

Biosteel Sports Nutrition is Toronto based company, and a leader in high-performance sports drinks for professional athletes and everyday champions alike.

A product created out of necessity and is trusted by athletes like Connor McDavid, Brooke Henderson, Rosie MacLennan, and Andrew Wiggins. They have a full line of products, including their signature High-Performance Sports Drink and Advanced Recovery Formula Protein plus a brand new rooster of Biosteel Green Powder.

Living like a champion requires championship nutrition and there’s no one we trust more.

Enter Promo Code – ChampLifestyle at www.biosteel.com for 15% Off the Next Order

truLOCAL

We care about food…a lot, and after having truLOCAL on the podcast we were stoked to throw a couple of their Ontario raised steaks on the BBQ. We loved them and couldn’t wait to try the rest of their amazing products and wanted to give you a chance to try them too.

To celebrate our new partnership head over to truLOCAL.ca and use the code word CHAMPIONSHIP10 for $25 dollars off a regular box! We don’t think you’ll be disappointed.


Show Notes

  • TBD

Champ Community

Hear what other Champions have been saying about the Podcast
  • I’m a fan of information and value. There are only a few podcasts I rock with that are worth the time, JRE with Joe Rogan, Championship Lifestyle, Think Space with Joss Biggins, Gary Vee Audio with Gary Vee etc. We should be auditing everything, audit the BS out of your podcasts and your ear. I’m rocking with this podcast pretty much every day”
  • Paulwall2837 said “Genuinely get excited to listen! Great topics and great flow, Adrian and Sylvia definitely know how to keep you interested!”
  • The Stretch Therapist said “what a great time – informal, raw and just an all around good time.”